...and if I end up writing a random filk of The Lumberjack Song on that subject, someone needs to commit me to an asylum.

But... alas, I have at last descended into the depths of complete nerddom.  My closest co-conspirator in the PPC, the lovely julyflame, was good enough to show me a site that had manga uploaded.  A site which I intend to take full advantage of.  At the moment, I'm just getting through OP. But...

Yes. Ph34r me.

Actually, it's just that... I don't know. It's like, it's a different medium from what I'm used to, you know? Like I'm not a huge comic book fan, but I adore sandman.  I guess it's just that I've been toying with Apocalypse!verse and the idea of using it as my experimenting ground. Like... my other various 'verses thus far are pretty straightforward, writingwise. Just standard sci-fi/fantasy books. But I'm trying a REALLY bloody weird style with Apocalypse!verse's first book, and may want to just... play with as many different storytelling methods as I can with it, y'know? Because that's what it is.  It's a world about telling stories as much as anything. (You can tell that I'm heavily, heavily influence by Gaiman and particularly Sandman.) I swore I wouldn't include things like this here, but this is a life development more than anything.

Because I'm going to investigate this other mode of storytelling. ...Besides, it's hilarious watching some of the expressions in manga. Like when people are like "Uhm, you can't do this..." Luffy: "Okay! *Darts off to do just that*" People: *FURYFACEWITHSHARPPOINTYTEETH* YOU IDIOT!

Luffy, btw, is a little... more stupid but sharper in the manga?  Like, he's a lot more prone to doing insane things, but he's... sharper. A lot sharper.  I like it.

BTW, in Boston 10th-13th of April. I'm getting really torn now.  And wondering just what I'll do when faced with certain choices I'm likely to have to make. Still, even if there isn't a choice... WHEE I HAVE THE BEST FALLBACK EVER. *DAAAAAAAAANCE*

But I need to go do math now, so I don't fail.

Tessa tomorrow!

EDIT: Mental note to self: Save Picture As ASAP, before I run out of time, and then do it as I read. 'Cause I CAN, and EEEEEHmanga. AKA Canon Reference! *Daaaance*

I think, in college, my order of language learning will be: Gaelic, Japanese.  'Cause I'm starting to pick up a word here and there, and it seems like a fun language.  Also, because I'm a nerd. (Example: I randomly started telling myself stories last night and using Shakespearean English to do it. As in, full proper grammar, with thees and thous and the whole nine yards. And it was SO PRETTY I nearly cried.)

Okay. So, partly because it's highly unlikely that I will either A) post tomorrow before the strike or B) about anything other than my day with my Tessa-thing, I thought I'd get some thoughts down

1. I am in deep shit.
2. I need to do my math. I need to not fail that class. Because I have places to go and things to do--and the thing is, I CAN. I didn't think I could.  I'd forgotten there was a time I arrogantly assumed I'd have all these choices.  ...Except... I'm not stupid, and I know this.  Or I did.  I started thinking I was for a while. But I need to go do my math. (Gods, I want these two weeks over. I need to know what's on the table. If I get REALLY arrogant about my geniusosity later, seriously, forgive me. I hadn't realized my mind was still worth something.)
3. I really need to get over my writing block.  Or rather, not block so much as... incapacitation.  I can't do it. I want to, so badly.  I want to be myself again. And I can't. And I know why, and I hate it, and I hate that I can be so deeply affected.  I need to not have my heart on my sleeve all the time, I need to get my head straightened.  I have worlds to create, wide open fields begging for description, and I can't get myself to do them.  And it's been a year or more since I've had the energy and willpower for it.
4. I really ought to start doing a PPC'ing to relieve stress.  It's not BAD that I have to ask permission again; I was once a very stupid young newbie, back in... September, October, whenever it was.  But... I don't have quite the confidence I did then, despite having more confirmation that I OUGHT to, and it's making me camera shy.
5. ...I need to seriously figure out why I felt the way I did about things, and if my adoration came from projection based on people I love.  But... I will have a very serious decision in front of me, very soon, and possibly multiple ones.  And I need to decide where my priorities lie... *Sighs* I'm not going to be in New York for college. That's pretty much a given.  Even if I had both Barnard AND Columbia on the table, I have serious doubts I'd be there.  I'll be North-East, within easy distance of it, certainly.  But... I thought it was the most important thing to me.  Then half of my reasons weren't there, then most of those half didn't even exist.  And my first priority is the education, and... Utumno agar tummen.  It's that there are places I love, and it's been so long since I saw Columbia... And I wonder if it'll be easier for me to just start fresh. Completely fresh. ...I need to update that profilethingy.
6. I need to deal with my life.
7. I need to actually take my medication, and I need to start eating. Because I'm HAPPY in many ways, except for my recent crying bouts and the complete spazz and sick feeling I get on occasion when looking at my buddy list.  I'm happier than I have been in a long time, and more self-secure and assured of my worth as a person.  But I'm off-meds, unbalanced, and most of all I'm barely eating.  At all. And in a constant state of exhaustion and nausea.  I couldn't get out of bed for a few days, I didn't bathe (sorry 'bout that TMI, but...) and I'm in a near-constant state of anxiety.  Essentially, I'm in the process of a nervous breakdown.

And that's more or less it for now.  Still, hanging out in the shopping centre with my Tessa tomorrow, thank the Valar. I love that girl.

Back to trying to knit now. Haverford, Yale, you guys had damn well better give my Tessa what she deserves. If only so I can drag her by the ear out of the South.

Random shoutouts: LG, Jen-ness, I miss chatting with you guys.  LG, I need to have some worldbuilding chat with you some time, and Jen... just miss you.  You'd better tell me all 'bout how China's been recently at some point.