*Criiiiies*

I can't deal with this morning anymore. I just can't.  It's too much.  ALL OF IT. *Weeps*

Okay. so FIRST, our choir director doesn't show up for choir. Even my gayboy who NEVER COMES WAS ON TIME, and he didn't come, we left at 7:15... and sure enough, director shows up at 7:20. *Weeps* I'm gonna get yelled at in MTAP...

Then I have that concert tonight. *Cries* I'm not sure I'm off-music and I rlywannabe. My gayboy is singing "I Could Be In Love With Someone Like You." Y'know, the Irish girl song that later became "Shiksa Goddess." I kinda wanna squee-and-die. Because... EEH HE'S DOIN' JAMIE WELLERSTEIN! *DAAANCE* He nearly did "King of the World," which woulda made me even happier. Gyaaaaah, I lurves that song.  I need to dragoon him into singing that for me some time for the helluvit.

What else?

Stanfordsa buncho' losers. 7.5/9, 7.5/12 (that's 83 1/3% and 62.5%, which given the list is not half bad) and I'll hear tonight and I DO NOT HAVE THE EMOTIONAL RESERVES FOR ANY OF THIS ANYMORE OKAY? I just don't. I can't handle my life right now. I want to go die in a corner.

Also? Neran makes my life a little brighter.

'scusi while I go die now.

(It's so damnedly close...)

Don't even ask about the subject. It sounded like a song to me. (I'm hearing it. It's not even an extant song. ...Let's not go there. I'm hearing music that doesn't exist now.)

But I do want to apologize, in advance, for the sheer, unadulterated Friendslist Spamming I'll be doing today.

While I'm here, I want to say I'm sorry for forgetting Destroying The Ring and Confrontation At The Black Gate Day. I apparently, however, honored it by not posting. Odd, that.

Next on teh list, then, is the Glorious Twentyfifth of Towelday. Hah.

Reminds me: must buy silk lilacs...

I started writing something. 'poc!verse, but not the book. Prequel to it. Oddly, I think it would be the last thing I'd actually write in that 'verse.  'Cause there's the stupid, stupid hero who gets himself killed in a freak accident due to his own idiocy and wearing himself down, and then there're his parents, who are actually far more directly influencial than he is. And their romance leads to him, and to huge political changes. Normally the sort of climax would be the main character's romance. But... well. Tifami apparently has a few things to say about that. So.  Sadly, though, I apparently start everything by writing the end. The way I read.  And... it's so odd, because...

It ends almost exactly the way the book I'm actually writing ends.  "He closed his eyes, and slept." Seriously, there's this incredibly morbid overtone of inevitable death where he's concerned.

...Oh, right. That would be why. I kill him off.

...........................

Which is the reason for this post. Not killing him off.  But. I... sort of had another breakdown moment. Not... not... life-breakdown. The "I feel like shit and ought to say something but I can't because I know what's right and I can't just give in to my weepiness and I want to curl up and die and never come back again" kind of breakdown moment.

I'm honestly about to start crying. In the middle of physics.

Fuck.

Expect... two more posts today. My sputtering incoherency if needed, and it may not happen or be an edit to this post.  And the one tonight, after I...

Oh god. Oh my holy Morgoth-fucking Eru (please excuse my language... why do I have this horrible sensation of Galadriel telling me to wash my mouth out...) I have to sing tonight. In front of people. Family. People

Shoot me now.

It really was all decided a couple weeks ago.

I'm actually not too upset, except with the realization that their criteria mean they really are exactly like my school is now.  That's a depressing realization.

If you can't read my subject, you may wait for enlightenment. But I gets my Bettis and my Andrew and possibly my Katie (you knooooow you want to... *Giggles* Kidding. Except sorta not. *Loves!*)

Once I hear from Tessa... life is set.

Now, to not fail math so I can keep that rather odd subject expression...

..........After the concert.  I'll be back with singingness later!

So... concert. Bettis came; made my day. So did my Angel of English. And all my gps (who are amongst the living, of course).

So... LJ cuts, because ther. First is my gayboy singing "I Could Be in Love With Someone Like You," AKA, the precursor to "Shiksa Goddess," AKA "I love Irish Girls"  -- how I love him.

( I Could Be In Love With Someone Like You )

Link is here if you'd prefer (http://www.freewebs.com/leetrynace/Songs/I%20Could%20Be%20In%20Love.mp3). I love that boy, really. And the song. It makes me giiiiiggle.  Second... uh. Just listen and try not to hate.  Mozart. Voi Che Sapete. Cherubino's aria. Also the one Elizabeth Bennet sings an English version of in the '95 P&P. 

( Voi Che Sapete )


Link is here if you'd prefer (http://www.freewebs.com/leetrynace/Songs/Voi%20Che%20Sapete.mp3). ...'sgood? Please? Tell me?

*hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiides* 

EDIT: Also, a boy sang this: http://www.onlylyrics.com/hits.php?grid=8&id=1008976.  On the one hand, it vaguely annoyed me, 'cause it made me think of Iraq and I hate that fucking war and the army should have never been sent there in the first place. But it... made me cry a little. And... well...

The whole "already home," and... and... things. *Sniffles and tries not to cry*