Onwards, ever onwards. Continuing with full battalion of OC sporkers now - with me: Jack, Edmund, Ariana, Siarl, Victoria and Hack. Anyone getting confused please tell me and I'll put up a short note on them next time. I am, of course, in bold. I kept losing my sporks of the fourth chapter, so it got more snipped each time.

Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: Horse Lord and the Dark Angel
Fandom: Lord of the Rings
Culprit Author's Name: LA Knight

Full Name (plus titles if any): Minalie, but prefers Mina. Aragorn calls her "witching child". She is the last member of the Ruby Kiss. (thanks to Kippurbird for explaining the Anita Blake-ism).
Full Species(es): A non-canon sort of vampire.
Hair Color (include adjectives): "long, jet black hair", "midnight hair"; "her midnight hair, so different from the gold and copper and bronze of the women of Rohan, hung down to her slender waist" (thanks to PurpleProse!Eomer for that description), "mussed", at one point "soaking wet" so "a dark, wet curl", "silken hair".
Eye Color (include adjectives): "glittering like emeralds in the candlelight" with thick, black lashes", but "there is pain in her eyes", later "soft and dreamy", "laughing green eyes", "emerald eyes smoky with thought".
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "creamy white shoulders", "cheeks bright with colour", a "slender body", "luscious curve[s] of her body " and of course she is "beautiful and mysterious", with fangs, people, bloody fangs.
Special Possessions (if any): Well, she turned up "wielding a naked sword" dressed in "black leather pants, black leather boots, and a black tank top". I think that the fangs count as special, though.

Annoying Origin: Bitten by "Kristoff", which is giving me unfortunate mental links to Blade. Claims she is "not of this world", which she has right at least.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Gandalf treats her "like a daughter", Aragorn "like a sister". Eomer is obviously lusting after her. Eowyn is her bestest friend.
Annoying Special Abilities: She can feed people her blood and heal mortal wounds in such a manner.
Other Annoying Traits: Has waterfights with Eowyn. No, I am not kidding. Tends to burst into run-on sentances when heading into thoughts, which just makes me hurt. Bites people.

Oh my.

Oh MY.

I want to have Keith Olbermann's babies. Seriously. I really do. I have not felt so hot for someone in regards to politics in... EVER.

Wow.

You tell him.

Our president has been completely and truly PWNED.

( Comic )

( Cast Bios )

( Commentary )

Dear calen_greenleaf, you are far braver than I for finding this...

Story Or Series Title: Remembrance of a Dream
Fandom: Lord of the Hot Actors
Culprit Author's Name: fUnKyToEs

Full Name (plus titles if any): The main Sue is Grace; the secondaries are Joy, Clara, and Theo, "literally based" on the author's RL friends
Full Species(es): Puella moderna
Hair Color (include adjectives): Joy: red; the rest, as far as I can tell, are not mentioned
Eye Color (include adjectives): None mentioned
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned
Special Possessions (if any): Sleeping bags; annoying personalities

Annoying Origin: Modern-day Earth Hell
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: None yet
Annoying Special Abilities: Does breathing count?
Other Annoying Traits: Telling the story entirely in first person

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Today's sporking will be done by my cats: Bagheera, Larry, and Blossom.

Larry: So...why're we doing this?
Bagheera: 'Cause we'll get treats if we do! ^^
Blossom: Badfic is scary. D:

( In which there is a slumber party. )

Hey comedy people!

Just wanted to let you know that John Oliver, Dave Hill, and Rob Lathan will be appearing at a benefit concert in Brooklyn this Friday, May 16th (aka... tomorrow night). All proceeds go to AIDS Walk NY. I'm a huge fan, and am part of the group organizing the show. There are just a few tickets left so I want to make sure that all the fans know about it before it sells out. Please come out & tell your friends.

The Mountain Goats and Rock Plaza Central will play as well! Don't miss it!

Here's the Ticket Web site where you can buy tickets:

http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?dispatch=loadSelectionData&eventId=256644

Let me know if you have any questions at all.

Thanks so much!
-Angela

x-posted some other places.

Hey folks,

Just wanted to let you know that John Oliver is doing stand up a benefit concert in Brooklyn TOMORROW NIGHT. All proceeds go to AIDS Walk NY. I'm a huge fan, and am part of the group organizing the show. There are a few tickets left so I want to make sure that all the fans know about it before it sells out. Please come out & tell your friends.

Dave Hill will also be there, as will The Mountain Goats, Rock Plaza Central, and Gotham Girls Roller Derby.

Here's the Ticket Web site where you can buy tickets:

http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?dispatch=loadSelectionData&eventId=256644

Let me know if you have any questions at all.

Thanks so much!
-Angela

Right, so I'm in finals hell at 2 am right now. And in the middle of my journalism-school-related research, I come across this in-depth yearlong study on The Daily Show that the Project for Excellence in Journalism published last week, including bar graphs, maybe some pie charts for kicks, and video clips.

"Journalism, Satire or Just Laughs? "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Examined"

Be sure to click on all the links in the Table of Contents.

Interesting stuff, don't you think?

You don't know how glad I am that this is finally over.

Chapters 14-17, sporked.

Chapters 10-13, sporked.

Chapters 5-9, sporked.

Chapters 1-4, sporked.

"Mistaken Identities", the monstrosity that started it all.


( Read more... )

Comments for Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Guests: Laura Dern and Grover Norquist, author of Leave Us Alone

Comments for Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Guest: John Harwood

To book reviewers the world over:

Please, for the love of Eru Iluvatar, Aslan, and assorted other deities, stop calling people "the next J.K. Rowling."  Stephenie Meyer is not J.K. Rowling.  Neither is Christopher Paolini.  Do you know why?  Because they are Stephenie Meyer and Christopher Paolini.  They are different people than J.K. Rowling.  While they all write YA fantasy, and the quality of their writing is the topic of heated debate, they have very little else in common.

I feel sorry for anyone who picks up "Twilight" and expects it to be about a bespectacled young wizard.

I was browsing thru the Pit of  Voles when a random search found this: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3004794/1/Beast_of_Prey

Oh. My. God. O.o I never even thought that Draco/Fenrir fics even existed. Anyone who is a braver person than me, and has enough guts to spork this, be my guest. Just a warning tho before you start clicking; it is horribly NWS and contains slash, wolf sexxors and is sick enough for Wimfic.

I've never posted in deleterius before; if I have made grevious errors, then I apologise and hope you will forgive me.

I just canceled my Time subscription. I'm now waiting anxiously for the refund they say they'll send if you cancel. The prompt that reminded me I'd been planning to cancel it was checking my account and seeing that it had auto-renewed, pulling money from my checking account that I didn't have and almost sending me into over-draft. *wince* Thankfully my bank gives me two numbers, a "current balance" and "impending balance" sort of thing, and it was in the "impending balance," so I managed to transfer money in from savings before it became part of the "current balance" and I was officially in trouble. I think I'm not in official trouble, anyway.

Along with what they pulled being five dollars over the amount I'd designated as my food money for next week (which is why it was almost an over-draft situation), my roommate and I had been talking for a while about how Time seems to have just gone down the drain. Not one big drastic thing, but... little things that, overall, make it less fun to read anymore. When she confessed that she, too, was no longer reading most of the articles, just the columns and reviews, I decided it wasn't worth it.


In other news, I've been reading The Arabian Nights recently. See, one of the boys in the Public Safety office with me one night had it for class. When he finished his reading assignment, I picked it up and started paging through, because I've never really read it before. I got halfway through before the shift ended and I had to give it back, and promptly went to order a copy off Amazon. Beth teased me about it when she heard, because in Romanticism class I've been making a list of all the things we've read excerpts of that I want to eventually buy and read in full, too. LG: collecting the pre-1900s Western literary canon one book at a time?


Off to the store to buy things for kitty! And cheese, since I ran out this morning and it is a rather horrible state of affairs to be without cheese.

 If this is permissible in the eyes of Mod and others, I won't go through with the title, links and assorted introductions (seeing as the 'fic is about TWENTY THREE chapters long as is), so I'll just link to previous sporkages.

Chapter One.
Chapter Two.

Sporking will be Messrs. Stiles, Mochrie, Proops, Frost and a bit of Vranch now and then.

Because we had to get back to some Harry Potter eventually... this is just such damn bad porn that I couldn't pass it up. There is some really sick stuff on that place which Wimmy rights for. Sporking with me today, the usual bunch: Jack, Edmund, Ariana and Siarl. Victoria is our newcomer now. I am, of course, in bold.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. This piece of fanfiction is, thankfully, not mine. The sporkers are. Latin names for any Sues come from The Sue In the Field

Story Or Series Title: A Moment on the Hogwart's Express
Fandom: Harry and Hermione to have sexy time now, please!
Culprit Author's Name: HARMONY4EVER

Full Name (plus titles if any): Harry Potter; Hermione Granger
Full Species(es): Sex-starved teenagers, the male and female subspecies of Middleschoolicus builtlikeapornstarricus.
Hair Color (include adjectives): "straight, shiny black hair that was about shoulder length and matched him perfectly"; "dark, shiny, and very curly brown hair that reached a bit past her shoulders"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "beautiful green eyes that looked almost hypnotizing"; "a gorgeous hazel"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "slim with a little bit of muscle", "a really nice frame", and just wait until you read about his priaptic penis of doom; "slim but not grossly skinny", with perfect breasts ("38C") and buttocks. No, I kid ye not.
Special Possessions (if any): The aforementioned priaptic penis of doom; various sexual organs.

Annoying Origin: A sex starved teenager, I'm pretty sure.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Have stolen their names for a porn movie.
Annoying Special Abilities: Sex, sex, and did I mention sex? Various types of bad sex.
Other Annoying Traits: The bad sex, really.

Anyone got the idea of where this story is going, yet?






( NWS, I promise you )

*Dances in giddiness* Hahaaah! I found a Halo Mary Sue! Green Archer has gained a level!

Story Or Series Title: Say what you will
Fandom: Halo
Culprit Author's Name: Darkgoddess16

Full Name (plus titles if any): Alexis Faith Killian
Full Species(es): Human-Spartan
Hair Color (include adjectives): Strait Dark Brown/ Golden highlights Because Spartans have all the time in the world to highlight their hair... Oh, and this Sue is speshul... her hair is a narrow body of water!
Eye Color (include adjectives): Golden Brown
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None
Special Possessions (if any): None

Annoying Origin: Special Ops Spartan that nobody knew about.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Dr. Halsey's niece
Annoying Special Abilities: Extraordinary Skill with Hand- to-Hand Combat, Quick Temper Have you noticed that almost all Sues are kinda... "Quick-Tempered"? She'll probably also end up falling in love with John, and then they'll have massive secktual Spartan sex together. With their armor ON. Cuz they're just so awesome like that.
Other Annoying Traits: Doesn't dress like a Spartan and has no military discipline

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: (Do NOT post more than half of a chapter, whole chapters, or whole stories, regardless of how short they are)



( You know why ONI kept her a secret? This is why... )

Oh lud... I'm not really happy that I found this anymore...

( You know what I have to say? Blarg. )


( An author's note )

This one was actually a little hard to spork... It was more painful than anything.

~Aeryx

Story/Series Title: We Will Be Together Soon One Shot *BLINK BLINK* Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
Fandom: Fred Weasley, the twin with a hidden love.
Authors Name: loveme88 Pretentious much?
Read it: In a place like this
Full Name/s and title/s: Fred Weasley, Sara, Amiee and Liam Perry.
Species: The lovesick sues
Hair Color: Both Fred and Liam have ‘Fire red hair’
Eye color: Fred: Brown. Sara: Blue.
Special Markings/colorations: She is pregnant and has a brat of a sister.
Special Possessions: A baby that she is carrying and it cries… like all babies were meant to.
Annoying abilities: To wangst freely and openly.
Connection to canon: There is a grip on the timeline, but that is about it.
Annoying Origin: Hard to tell.
Other special abilities: Nothing great. It is too boring.
Sporkers Notes:This story would have been half-way decent if it wasn’t for the major amount of wansting, pointlessness and length. It is actually a good idea otherwise and I almost felt bad that I had to spork it. But the content was not something I’d be giving an A+ in English, so it still has its sporkable parts. But would it have been a good story if it were longer and cleaned up and a bit more canon? I’d like to know your thoughts.
( Let’s_get_emo! )

Does anyone have any spare tickets for the next couple of weeks? My boyfriend is on leave from Iraq and we're both big fans. I was able to get tickets once last year but it ended up that we would not be in New York at the time. I only learned his leave dates about a month and a half ago and haven't been able to get tickets. If anyone has extras they want to share or anything, I would be forever grateful.

Guessing that I will probably get no bites, with that, for those of you who have tried, how difficult is it to get in on standby?

This was brought to the community's attention recently by calen_greenleaf. I apologize if the coding gets screwed up; I'll fix anything that goes wonky as quickly as possible.

Story Or Series Title: The Bonds of Friendship
Rated: M for MehMature
Fandom: Lord of “Not seeing the forest for the trees”
Culprit Author's Name: ForeverImaginative

Full Name (plus titles if any): Malinare (“Golden Sunlight”), daughter of Manáre
Full Species(es): Elf (Sidhia angstia, perhaps, based on The Sue in the Field)
Hair Color (include adjectives): golden. “The top half of her hair was pulled back by small twists and held together by a leather tie”
Eye Color (include adjectives): Don’t seem to be described in the first few chapters. (Legolas’s eyes, on the other hand . . .)
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Don’t think so, no. She blushes easily.
Special Possessions (if any): Her clothing, I suppose. A nice, lush bedroom. Her father’s supposed to be somewhere in the vicinity.
Annoying Origin: Rivendell.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Daughter of one of Elrond’s “trusted” councilors; she and her dad are playing exchange student or goodwill hostage or something between Rivendell and MirkGreenwood. Wuv object of Legolas.
Annoying Special Abilities: Good with the bow, though it’s not really annoying yet.
Other Annoying Traits: Something about being betrothed to Legolas’s Previously Unknown Brother under threat of harm to Legolas while being in love (or in-love-but-not-aware-of-being-in-love) with Legolas. The P.U.B. is introduced and (presumably) confirmed as Irredeemably 99.6% Evil in the second chapter, and all the authority figures who could possibly hold him in check are going to wipe their hands of the situation and ship out shortly.
( Does changing an entire race to suit your own ideas of perfection or correctness count as writing a Mary Sue? Well, not necessarily, I suppose . . . )

Apologies if this was too long. I'm sure any sporkings of later chapters will be much shorter.

Story Or Series Title: Curse how attention grabbing
Fandom: Lord of the Rings - I think.
Culprit Author's Name: Jack-o-lantern31 -- Pumpkin Pie! Yummy.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Illyria Storm Crow - Daughter of Saruman the White, but not Saruman. LOL =D
Full Species(es): Puella spawnificus repulsivum  coutesy of Guide to the Sue in the Field
Hair Color (include adjectives): "she had red curly hair of a mortal" ftw?
Eye Color (include adjectives): not specified but let's say "golden eyes like the sunrise flecked with amethyst and turquoise that represent her s0rr0w and paynee*cut cut*" for kicks
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "pale skin that it looked like it was glowing skin of an elf, and power of a witch...It was like Eowyn, Galadriel, and Arwen combined into one beautiful creature."
Special Possessions (if any): her dad's home.

Annoying Origin: Satan's anus.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Sarumon's daughter, and future love interest of Leggy-poo.
Annoying Special Abilities: She is Puella Pefecta - she has all abilities, including the ability to fart! Honest.
Other Annoying Traits: Has no control over her powers because she goes violent, trigger-friendly and chokey-like whenever daddikin's name is mentioned 0h n0ez sob sob sob >= 

Sporking this horrible story are Sirius Black and Remus Lupin