I... REALLY wish I had had an opportunity to use this with SotE!Cinaed. Seriously. This would have been the FUNNIEST thing for him to say.  Just because A) he would, B) he would and be reprimanded for his choice of words by both his wife and son, C) he would and be rather pleased with himself, and D) OH MY GOD IT IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER.

Okay, so I was reading a Regency fic, and there's a general who has restrained himself from giving an evil, scheming woman his opinion of her.  SotE!Cinaed's version of said opinion, assuming he's talking to some court viperess, which he would have given immediately:

"My lord? You seem pensive."
"I was contemplating the sheer disparity in station between yourself and some of the poor women I have known."
"Oh? *Pleased*"
"Do you know, there are women in this world who are forced to sell their bodies for others' pleasure, who have not grown up with half your clothing, education, or talents.  One wonders if they could have found another means of surviving."
"*Look of disbelief and some confusion* I don't quite--"
"*Snorts, with that special, Kaleaster-y sneer of complete derision--you all should know it, Altran probably uses it the most, although Tyroshaun uses it when in a bad mood* As I said, I was contemplating the disparity in station between you. You could not aspire to match them even in the privacy of your own, conceited mind."

...I love him. Really. He's INSANE and impolitic and really bitchy, but man Cinaed is fun to write when he's being evil. *Cackles* I'd love to see him set someone down. Just... 'cause. Yes, I read regency and somehow end up picturing Cinaed being restrained by Kaimana from strangling half the population. It amuses me.

...Cinaed makes my life. Really. My not-bookworm.

 EDIT: Because the translation is even more hilarious, I'll go ahead and supply the seemingly-random, more real-world-ish version of the above set down. "I rather like prostitutes.  They've got a code of honor.  *Beat* You couldn't hope to rise to their level if hell froze over."

That was the original phrasing. Slash the un-prettified way of putting it. I repeat, I LOVE THAT MAN. *Glomps him and his acerbic tongue*

Y'know, it's funny. It seems so long, and then...

Alex (school-Alex, not surfer-god-chef Alex--hey, my own Sanji!) is going to NYC for three days (then New Haven and Philly for one each), on a college trip. Looking at Columbia.  And he asked me for advice on what to do and what to see.

And then I went hunting for a character, after a comment by July on young burnouts (I AM IN LOVE WITH NIETZSCHE BY THE WAY) and... I realized.

He's doing what I did, this time last year.

A year, plus a couple of days of course.  But...

My god.  It was all just... like that. It seems as if it had just been a day or two ago... And yet how many things have happened.

*Sigh* Oh yes. A great many indeed.

...Sad that I can quote that off the top.

*Sigh* So.  One of those... days.  *Sigh* I'm waiting for a call from Princeton. Or the local Princeton alumna.  *Gloomy* And I haven't worked.  *Sigh* I need some new icons...

Also, due to... something, which I will discuss later, more privately, and in far greater detail, I've been feeling broken/unhappy/weepy/betrayed all day.  And worthless. I mean, part of the latter is due to my failage. But seriously, the rest of it? TOTALLY not deserved and unfounded, and I KNOW THIS. But... *Sighs* Fuck it. People are shit. I forget why I try again.

LizGib said that "Mary Sues are the literary equivalent of a bad acid trip." I love her.

I'm thinking about making a separate journal for All Things Writing.  To be friended if you're interested. And I don't mean just posting stories or pieces--'cause honestly that ain't happenin' any time soon, unless it's extra/ontheside--but for my rambles on it.  Locked and stuff. I may use my old LJ that I had for about three days when I was too immature to keep up with one.  I dunno.  I'm just feeling this desperate need to separate my life and my writing.  Maybe 'cause last time I DIDN'T and look at my mental state now.

Part of this is PMS.  I know this. Doesn't make it less shit.

Another month and ten days. Argh.

I hate this week.  Just... for the record.  It's out to kill me.  *Sighs*

What I never posted, though, was that my Dad did something HILARIOUS the other night. So we watched P2 of P&P2 (look, I'm making visual puns!) and when Darcy said "You must allow me to tell you how much I admire and... love you," Dad SPAZZED. And then ORDERED me to go get the DVD so he could see the rest of it THAT NIGHT. AND SKIPPED WORKING FOR IT.  HAH, my father lurves JA.  Anyway, so then in the 4/6th part Caroline Bingley, AKA the Orange Duck Bitch, is insulting Elizabeth and being evil. "...Her teeth are tolerable, I suppose, but nothing out of the common way.  And as for her eyes, which I have sometimes heard called fine, I could never perceive anything extraordinary in them.  And in her air there is a self-sufficiency without fashion which I find intolerable." (I didn't need to look that up.)

And my father, during the break between that and the next line of the rant ("How amazed we all were..."), all but yells at the TV screen, "Well, at least she doesn't have a nose like yours!"

Yes, people. Give it up for the math nerd genius father, who bitch-slapped Caroline Bingley. (What's more amazing is... my father actling like a PERSON?!)

Anyway.  *Sighs* I'm just... very tired, very sad, and sort of want to go cry.  Dammit, I'm such an idiot.  and I hate it and I hate being me. (wonder if mum'd let me skip out on school tomorrow morning... and kantorei... i'd be legitimately sick, i'm so tired and i need the time...) Literally, 'snot even about the sleep anymore. I'm just... gods, I'm just so tired.  I just want it all to STOP.

And I really, really want to cry.

(As per my English honors project for this semester, I have three words: God is dead. If you don't know what that means I'm doing, then look it up.  In any event, my teacher--that would be Doc, AKA God--thinks the subject suits me. *Smirk*)

Meme below ganked from julyflame.  Whoot for me. EDIT: So apparently being optimistic about humanity's ability to better the human condition makes me less an athiest? WTF is up with that? Seriously, ah, NO wtf. The only reason I believe THAT is because if something's wrong, it's people's fault.  What's the quote? "It's in ourselves to rise or fall." Except I believe it a lot LESS on an individual scale--as come on, oppression can combat a LOT of will power--but very deeply on a species-wide scale.  Uh. I'm a bloody Atheist. Just 'cause I have deep set morals doesn't make me any less athiest. Savvy? Good.

Okay, so I was the loser sitting here writing stage!P&P-with-half-hispanic-Elisa Marina Bennet, and her mother Francesca Gutierrez Bennet. And the "Juanita, chica, tengo hablar con tigo! Donde estas! Tu mama esta llamando! Elisa, venga al telephono!" Yes, Hispanic Mrs. Bennet. Ph34r.

And I go in to mum's room.  And she shows me something.

An interview on spanish TV with an actor in a new movie that I think is in spanish.

And he is blond and rugged and speaks spanish BEAUTIFULLY and has this beautiful smile and his eyes crinkle when he smiles.

His name, btw, is Viggo Mortensen.

I am in love all over again. WHY IS HE SO AMAZING ZOMIGODAAAAAAH. I want him as a PB. For someone. But I don't know who.  'Cause... I've GOT my PB for my one blond guy, he's way too noble and debonair for the fire mage of Elemental!verse... I'm thinking permaybehaps Bren.  Viggo playing Bren.  ....Yummy....

I LOVE HIM!

EDIT: ...I knew I did something right. So very, very right.

Elisa Marina Bennet, right? Hispanic people all have like fifty names. (All the Bennet girls have another, I'm sure--I'll have to do that some time.)  And... well, mum's favorite was dropped by her mother (my fool grandmother) 'cause she was named for an aunt (father's sister) who my Abi hated. But it was my mom's favorite part of her name.

Marina.

I knew Elisa was my mum in disguise. Not me. Mummy. *Beam.*

'Nother one of those days. Luckily Doc's out sick, so I have some time to learn math. Went home at lunch to sleep all afternoon. Was that burned.

Anyway.

I'm just... tired and burned out and it's tech week and I'm about ready to keel over and die.  Ah well.

Mansfield Park on Masterpiece Theatre annoyed the fuck out of me. And Fanny was fugly.

...I realized earlier that it was Jonathon Larson day last Friday. Huh. I forgot in the hell that was trying to get Imagination in.

I miss Jared.

Uhm. And on Caroline's behalf, an announcement: Sonora is an HP RP. It's a school in Arizona. Canon-related characters are Prohibited.  It's basically taking the world, saying "Screw you JK," and playing in it.  It needs applicants for this year's first year class to start term, which I REALLY WANT TO HAPPEN. (The owner, for all who care, adored my two applications.  HAH, I win all. And I have a child prodigy genius who's a hair away from wanting to kill an applied character who is apparently an eleven year old ninja who has written a book. WTF, I know. STUPID people.  Anyway, so my little genius boy is this close to challenging him to a fight and kicking his sorry ass by sheer persistence.  He apparently has a vicious dislike of 'Sues and 'Stus. I love him.)  You can only apply two first years at a time.  It needs lots more.  So. Uhm.

Not that anyone'll read this or notice, 'cept LG who already knows (dear, I think the owner would love a second character from you, go ahead and apply one if you haven't 'cause apparently she needs lots more applicants...), maybe Evie who I mean to talk to anyway, Aubrey who I'm sure is A) uninterested and B) too busy and C) things I don't feel like discussing in public and re: emails or Evie if you actually want to know, Alex who probably also doesn't have the time/energy/internet availability, Katie who doesn't RP, and Jen who is A) overworked and B) MIA.  So yeah. Uhm.

So leave a comment or give an IM/Gmail/MSN pokey if you wish to join in the incredibly hormonal teenagers + proximity = Melodrama, or just want more information on it.

Oh, also, they are in desperate need of an astronomy teacher. So consider that, too.

EDIT: ...Whoa. I just tried doing the Mary Sue litmus test. And I've successfully avoided Sueness with some of them for certain. I mean, really. I'm actually really proud of myself. I know what I'm doing.  Even having checked the "Yes, I get tetchy when my characters get insulted" box. I have enough de-Sueifying qualities (like, say, giving up after failing--although admittedly "failing" in that case constituted "dying," so... uh. Ooops.)  ...And I did it for another character or two I always liked and was getting... iffy about. And I was right. Sueishness was setting in. I knew there was a reason.

EDIT: OH MY GOD NEW IDINA CD MY LIFE IS MADE FOR THE REST OF TODAY WHICH IS NOT MUCH BUT OH WELL AAAAAH.

So I think I'll try taking up Republic of Pemberley again, and actually talking to the JA fandom.  I dunno. I mean, I'm not a huge fandom person in general, but I've stuck with JA for so long--and usually there are intelligent people involved--so... I may try taking it up. Making some friends. Finding some conventions or something. And betas for stories.

And I'm writing now.  Finally. My muse is back, and I've got two lead men talking to me. THANK THE VALAR.  Well, three technically, if you count Isaren.  And Rania's chatty, too. Sweet girl, that.  Also that depressing family and company of the Apocalypse verse.

...My English class is Wiki racing. 'Kay then.

Okay. So I was going to post my exuberance on Friday. I'll go back and edit that post and do the update on those coupla days in a little while. I haven't had the energy. It was a strange high. I promise I'll go back and write it up, though, because OH MY GOD MY CHOIR DIRECTOR IS FUCKING INSANE I LOVE HIM. *Giggles* Just... oh Scotty B.

But... uhm. Yesterday I had piano lesson--I LOVE Mozart, really I do. And love sightreading him, playing him, analyzing every chord as I go along that I can while still playing... aaaaah, music.  Anyway, then my Tessa came over and we watched Fruits Basket. It was lots of fun.  I love my Tessa. And I gave her the Audrey Hepburn book that I got that I didn't care for one way or another, but she LOVES Hepburn, so... she's happy. And that makes me happy. Even if we didn't get to see Golden Compass. Bah humbug.  Today, had rehearsal, forgot, was late, etc, bad day. Ugh.

Tyroshaun is incredibly good at the guilt complex thing. Lord, he'll find a way to blame himself for anything and everything.

... WARNING. This is a writing-filled post and there are five hundred tags because... well, yes. It's everything that's in here. And a summary of my mind at the moment, so it is necessary. For my record keeping. Skip ahead if you'd like.

Anyway. The other thing about yesterday... I rambled at/with LG, and WHOOT FOR WORLDBUILDING. Ohmigod, LG, you save my life.   Just... lord oh lord, you save my life. And I get to keep my other 'verse too now, despite Apocalypse!verse... which is what I'm calling that one, for the simple fact that... okay, I'll put that in below with my list of my private playground 'verses. So I've essentially got four 'verses right now, one on the front burner, one sort of... in the tea-kettle for sipping at, and two on the back burner.  One... based off an interesting fanfic idea I had that I may change so that I just have the epic sort of thing in that time period, so I'm not sure if I ought to count it as a verse or just a story. That's in the incubator.  And sort of in the pantry--not hot or cold and for snacking on, are my JA fanfic ideas.  Mostly P&P.  My Jeeves-JA mix, and my new theater!P&P fic.  (Come on, you all saw that coming--did you think I could resist the idea?)  I'm REALLY going to make Darcy blond in one of them. Just to break the paradigm. Not light blond, but... not blond. You can be broody without being dark-haired, dammit! I also do have a shortfic idea, for Sandman. *Grins* A Sweeney-Sandman story, actually. I mean... if Sweeney isn't a nightmare, than what is? Or it'll be a Corinthian-influencing-Benjamin-Barker/Sweeney-Todd.  But mainly I'd like to see Dream and Sweeney talking. *Grins*

...I love my head sometimes. *Grins* Now, the summary of the 'verses and the fics (and if you'd like any further information, please feel free to give me a nudge or ask for an email. ...why I'm offering, I don't know, as this is mostly for my own reference and mostly the five people who read this either A) already know, or B) will be told anyway by my rambling (sorry, LG-san), or C) won't be interested. I mean... the reason I keep this is mostly for my own memory, y'know? It's not like I have hordes of friends to keep up with... I never have. The ones I keep up with, I keep up with. I just need to write things out sometimes... anyway, still. If you'd like more info/the long and detailed plot explanation, let me know and I'll give it to you! Just be warned about the hours it'll need):

(...I don't know why I find the real world so damn boring. It's all about the high fantasy and the magic and occasionally the spaceships for me. It's odd. ...SPACESHIPS AHOY!)

I hate it when LJ isn't functioning right and won't post my long rambly things.  This time it's a fannish writing planning thing. That I need advice on.

So look for that later today.

Katie? Warning: It Will Be Heart-Attack Inducing.

In the mean time: Wodehouse, Adams, Pratchett: the Triad of Great British Comedic Writers.

Really.