See Lee.

See Lee die.

Die, Lee, die!

Okay, so I'm not sure if the minute or so late I was will count. Hopefully "in transit of email" will count as, y'know, being that minute or two late. -_-. DAMN WELL BETTER, RAULSTON. THAT IS THREE FUCKING THOUSAND WORDS OF QUALITY BULLSHITTING YOU HAVE THERE! *BEAMS* AND SINCE ABOUT THREE O CLOCK THIS MORNING, TOO.

...When I let my final grade rest on four hours of work, after no sleep and WAY too much scifi and anime? You know I have problems. But I basically analyzed modernism and existentialism and proceeded to deconstruct postmodernism, which is REALLY what my paper was about (and NOT actually form enhancing content, please GOD let him not notice that... -_-) but HEY, the first sentence of my paper was "As any debater, lawyer, senator, or overstressed English student will attest to, sometimes how an argument is presented is more important than the argument itself."  Voila my paper. Wondefully evil and self-referential, ja?

Also. This is the announcement of my living. I have not lived since about Friday afternoon, as I was in a state of perpetual limbo over this paper. But I live now.

And will now go die and try to get some sleep. I'm skipping school today. It can fuck itself.

...Also, I TOTALLY worked in The Name of the Rose as my final deconstruction of postmodernism AND MANAGED TO END MY PAPER WITH A SPEECH FROM DEATH. *CACKLES MADLY* The one about an atom of justice, a molecule of mercy. From Hogfather? *Snickers* I have a HUGEASS works cited list. Name of the Rose, Borges, Camus, Kafka, Sartre, Ives, Beckett, Nietzsche, a quote from Wittgenstein, and Pratchett. HAH.

I, my friends, conquer. Even if I fail this paper.

...I will deal with my life, that fucking magazine, that fucking novel I promised I'd do for a grade (I just need to pass, I can half-ass the fucking thing although I LOVE YOU TROJIE FOR HELPING ME WITH THE WHOLE MAGICAL APOCALYPSE WITH THE WHITE DWARFkthnxdone), and... uh...

I might start drawing. Just maybe.

-_-. If I do? Blame Adrian. The bastard's psychopathic enough.

...I am corrected. Sociopathic.

...No, sorry, you DO get labeled insane, hon.

EEEEEEELLLLGEEEEEEE. You need to let me know when you'll be online so I can raaaaaaaamble at you! *Beams* Especially as I've actually solidified all my social workings now, and just need to clear up minor plot points, sequences of scenes, etc.! You'll get fun scenes!

Also, WELCOME HOME JENN! I know you're upset to be back. But I'm happy to have you, and... I WILL BE IN BOSTON THIS FALL! (Assuming I don't fail first.) *SQUEE* That'll be fun, yes?

...Dear, dear readers, whosoever and howsofew you may be, I have lost my mind. Also, I quoted "Form of Things Unknown" for my title. Yeeeaaah, basically a Sandman AND a Pratchett moment in a paper.  I win.  Or lose. Or something.

Either way? My life is starting to return in snatches and glimmers of hope.  I'm so clooooooose... (Also? *HEADDESK* It's a bloody wonder I'm not in a straightjacket right now. I just want this clear.)

AAAHIWANNADRAW.

Adrian is fucking scary.

Really, he is. And mildly psychotic. I don't want to know what he did to the people who--not being from the angel-demon-human star system and not knowing about angels--actually cut a couple angels' wings.  Or rather, the people who ordered it, as the people who DID it were probably already dead. Seriously, Adrian? Ack. Scary.  Hopefully Robin (who STILL needs a better name...) will restrain him. 

Also, his dagger is like Jack's gun with one bullet. Only, uh.  Sharp and pointy and intended for several people.

Anyway, though... I'm running into a problem with Angel!verse, one that isn't a problem per se and possibly only indicatory of a brief flirtation with possibility as I'm IN LOVE WITH PHOENIX REQUIEM AND MY GOD GO READ IT JONAS IS SO FUCKING SEXY (and so is Robyn, but EEEEHJONAS; Jonas/Anya and Robyn/Petria are my 'ships--not that there are anything but permutations of that REALLY available at this point, BUT).  Anyway, though...

See, thing is, most of my writing I definitely see as images in my head.  But most of it I also see as... writing.  Like poc!verse, which is very solidly a written thing, because I couldn't do the internal/external duality or convey the regression into simplicity internally coupled with the complexity of the outside at the end in any format BUT written. (Plus... uh, the thing crystallized as a specific sequence of sentences, and as SENTENCES, so it's written.) Admittedly, pocverse is my experimental ground, in that I'm playing with storytelling techniques mostly and I think the only story in it I'd tell in a traditional, linear, ordered, third-person sort of way is the love story that pretty much changes everything.  That's been part of the plan for ages. Different formats, different styles, different lengths... pocverse is largely ABOUT storytelling, and that's part of the structure.

Elemental!verse would, again, be far more traditionally written, as would Shattered!verse.  Bard!verse, due to the nature of its origin, I CAN hypothetically see as an actual movie. Mostly 'cause, y'know, that's what it WAS. Except it was created to be a movie to be described, and what with my interest in its mythology it is ALSO a very solidly written world.

Angel!verse, however... is getting out of hand.  A) The complexities of the story. B) The fact that while I really only have seven characters at the moment, there needs to be a BUNCH of humans, and a lot more demons, so there's a HUGE cast list. (Admittedly, Elverse will be similarly insane, and pocverse ought to be if I could get off my ass about it... but that's another story.)

But... Again, I don't know if this is due to my love of Sandman and my secret desire to do comic books, or the fact that I am SO IN LOVE WITH PHOENIX REQUIEM and there was a fantasmatic update today, but... I really, really want to do Angel!verse as a comic series.  I can see it, and there's so much in it that's just visual. When Adrian's roots show, when Shia finds Meradan's body, the knife itself, the traces they find of Celadan, the scarring on Adrian's back, the wing shapes and colors and the various feline house markings, even Merineth's dreaming of her father (which isn't really a dream)... it's a very visual world.  And I'm very close to wanting to draw it all instead of writing it. Because... it's feeling like a visual world.

Except, uhm, me? Drawing? And on a regularly updating basis? HAH. HAH. HAH.

But DAMN, I want to.

WHY is Luke such a failing, whiney brat? ARGH. Also, why is Han so pretty? I hadn't actually, uh, noticed this before. But he IS.  ...Sad thing is, I'm looking at him, and...

Uh. I keep wanting to see Celadan. *Flailhide* A young Celadan, obviously, as older!Celadan is scarred and broken and bears very little resemblance to his younger self (which is, y'know... good, for many reasons).

If he weren't so manly, I'd make him the younger boy, and have older-boy=Luke, younger-boy=Han, and a really weird twisted sort of grandda=Palpatine and Cel is the embittered but not actually EVIL version of Anakin, except he's really more like Corwin than Anakin because Anakin's a PSYCHOPATH which I have to admit even clip-winged Cel is not.  Mildly sociopathic or obsessive, yes, but not psychopathic. He'd never countenance murdering hundreds of innocent people. Actually, come to think of it, younger boy=Luke, older boy=Leia plotwise. ...WHICH IS HILARIOUS, and I am now trying not to DIE at the thought of... oh my GOD, that is so not a thought my mind needed to have.

Excuse me while I am murdered by a young angel king. *Cackles*

Basically, though? Take the best of Star Wars and Firefly, mix it with Amber, throw in a dash of Tolkien and Lewis for good measure, and maybe a touch of Good Omens in the sheer insanity, and you get an idea of what my Angelverse is starting to look like.

Star Wars is like religion: it is a piece of shit.  A time-honored, lovable, venerable, enjoyable, and occasionally philosophical piece of shit, but shit nonetheless.

...DAMN, YOUNG HARRISON FORD IS FREAKIN' HOT. How did I not notice this before? *Oogles him* I neeeeeds him as a PB. Dear self: No, no, Cel is bad for this, Cel is bad, Cel has bright red hair like two of his kiddies and a third is strawberry blond (daaaaaamn, maybe I ought to take away Cinaed's sibs before my 'verses get top-heavy in the red-heads, except I LURVES THEM, and...)

Okay, clearly I need a red-headed boyfriend. ...Or a blond one.  ...tall and blond would not go amiss... uhm... *shifty eyes...*

Okay, my hormones need calming down now.  I'm going to hide.

Also, I can has pretty dresses, I can has knife, I can has awesomeness, I can has total failage, and I can has Star Wars. Bye now.

...I totally need a scene with younger!boy--who fucking needs a name, gods dammit all to hell!--saying "I have a bad feeling about this..."

Or possibly 'tanna. Or Jalen? No, that's not so much his line.  One of the red-headed twins. *Snickers* Also 'cause... they're far more like Mal, and Mal(/Han) would say that.

...Mal/Han. Oh shit. I read one too many Bad Slash PPCs, or too many sporks... *Brain: fizzles and dies*

We are interrupting this transmission. It has degenerated into insanity and fangirlism. We hope to return to your regularly scheduled programming...

...Sometime in the future. We don't know when.  Thank you.  Oh, and, uh, have a nice day.

That was a fucking Buffy rip-off! A CREEPY Buffy rip-off! Now even snarky mental commentary on MYSELF is going insane...

...I did say to move along, didn't I? Do so.

EDIT: IF YOU READ THIS, PLEASE TELL ME IF I REALLY LOST MY ROCKER, OR IF YOU WANT TO ACTUALLY HEAR ABOUT THE INSANITY I AM CONSTRUCTING. Thank you.

Also, it's TOTALLY all of that, plus? SPACESHIPS. LASERS. GUNS. TECH. SUPERNATURAL RACES. MAGIC. So I'm basically taking the idea of Kinslaying for a throne from Amber; of... well, Kinslaying and some of the reproductive/life-span/health/physiological patterns and tendencies towards history and language from Tolkien; the intrigue type stuff from Julio-Claudian Rome and I, Claudius; the joint rulers of Narnia; the not!angels of that idiot woman, hints of feline-anthros from... wherever you like (just markings on skin or eye shape or coloring of hair, no fur, I'm not weirdish); the spaceships and the mixed high and low tech of Firefly; a dash of magic, a pinch of sarcasm, a bucket of grief, a generous dollop of romance, a lot of insanity, huge amounts of time out of the work I'm SUPPOSED to be doing, stirring it all and letting it simmer over my lack of sleep, and seasoning (literally) with the eagerness to plot out planetary orbits Saundra woke in me. Actually, it's only because most star systems are binary star systems. And I think it'd be REALLY cool if this was, only the second was so small they thought was something else.

...Or maybe that's poc!verse. Hmm. No, no, Angel!Verse needs a single star. But... if that object they think isn't connected to their sun is actually a second star...

...Title. Got it. Right.

Thank you, brilliance. I did something PRODUCTIVE today. BWAH.

I hate myself. Ten fucking pages of back story, thousands of words that I SHOULD HAVE DEVOTED TO POCVERSE FUCK IT. Argh.

Anyway. Done now. Sorry.